Depressed and angry at the world – should I be that way?

I am trying to hold it all together but I am slowly becoming unraveled. I keep telling my family that everything will be OK. Deep in my heart I know we will survive this bout of lack of income. I have tried almost everything to get money in the house. You see I am the only breadwinner for a family of 4. Husband has a bone disease that made him permanently disabled 7 years ago, he maybe in a wheelchair in a few more years. I lost my job that I had for 2 years last July. Before that I had a job for 12 years and the company shut down. I am a loyal employee that does countless overtime hours and comes in at a moments notice I will even work 12-14 hour shifts and on Sundays and holidays.  I have been to countless interviews but no one has made me an offer. I did for a time manage to sell items on eBay and it did work for about 3 months. I actually thought I could make a living doing that. Then the eBay hacking incident took place in September 2007 and my niche items went nowhere. I took my items to local craft shows to sell and sold nothing and paid $15.00 for the priviage of setting up my card table and sitting there for 7 hours.

I am the only person that I know that got turned down by the following companies during the holiday selling season: Target, Sears, Walmart, McDonald’s (yes I got turned down by them too). Do you know how it feels to be turned down by Micky Dees? When my husband saw the rejection letter from Target he said out loud “what is wrong with these people?”

I know why I didn’t get the store jobs, they all said I didn’t have any retail experience. I think I was too old for Micky Dees, after all I am in my 50’s and know too much. I have lot’s of high tech experience but everything moved out of the country. I have worked in R&D in electronics most of my life and have a college degree – so what am I doing wrong?

When I see people bashing other people online about “why are these people begging for money?” I guess they have not walked a mile in those people’s shoes. The same stupid remark is always there “why don’t they get a job?” Well guess what people WE CAN’T, WE HAVE TRIED AND YOU CAN’T FORCE PEOPLE TO HIRE US, there I had to get that off my chest. Next time you see an online bashing at least have the guts to stick up for the unemployed, down and out individual that has to resort to begging to survive. Remember it is Christmas time and Jesus, who had no money himself offered his only coat to another person because he had no clothes. It is not a case of give what you can – it is a case of making a sacrifice of yourself to help another person.

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~ by JJ on December 23, 2007.

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