I lack the ability to make friends
Now don’t get me wrong I have a few friends, but very few. I was brought up not to have a social life after school. I was not to have friends, it was frowned upon. No one was allowed to come over to my house (apartment) and I was only allowed over a friends’ home for an hour or 2 at the most. If I did not come home at the precise time I was not allowed over their house anymore. I remember getting the belt for being 15 minutes late walking home from a friends house.
Boyfriends were another matter – I was not allowed to have any! I lived at home until I was 30 years old and dating began at 28! I had to turn down the prom when a boy asked me out, because I was afraid of what my dad might say or do. I am glad I found my husband to be – I called him my knight in shining armour.
Well as they say,”alls well that ends well”.I am glad you have a good husband and a normal life now.Even though I have been married twice,I find it very hard to make friends too.I have not done it tough like you though.I am a bit of a lone wolf type.I am told that I have a “borderline personality disorder” whatever that is.I live in Perth West Australia with my second wife and I am quite sane!!I am having a struggle trying to create a blog,but an clueless,it is not nice like yours.I am trying to encourage people th relate their experiences in the area of ,shall we say,love lost? missed opportunities etc.at the moment all it contains is an introduction to my own sad story and a poem I wrote in a fit of depression.If you would like to have a look and perhaps comment (or not)my blog is snark4.wordpress.com/alone
I guess it is a question how we define friends. Some people would call a friend somebody they know and they have a drink together occasionally, chatting about things out there, you know, men, women, cars, gardens… I would call a friend somebody that I can open up completely with, cry and laugh with and also completely rely on in casa I would need it. So, a funny thing that happens to me is that I have never had troubles worth mentioning in regards to make friends. However, as years pass my need to have friends is lessening. Nowadays I do have good friends that actually want to hang out with me, but I find myself lacking any sort of motivation to spend time with them. I like them, I consider them as good friend, but have no desire to just go on spending time together just for the sake of it. It seems I am becoming more and more antisocial, liking to spend time with my kids and my wife, and the rest is pretty much just the need to be alone. Hmmmm.